Kathleen Cox found herself at odds with traditional dating norms.  Her ideal date is in the comfort of her home, online, with her significant other on the screen of her phone.

Her boyfriend lives almost 4,000 miles away in the United Kingdom.  But their love story began online on “Discord”, a gaming and chatting platform where the two hit it off, not even knowing what the other person looked like.  Their dates consist of mostly gaming and discussing various topics.

Relationships like Cox’s and her boyfriend’s are becoming increasingly common, especially with the coronavirus pandemic shaping the way that people now interact in relationships.  A study by Match.com in tandem with the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University put numbers to the relationships by sharing that physical touch is now less important than ever before in romantic relationships.

“It always felt like something I was struggling against the culture with, so to hear that people are also starting to hit that place where they’re not prioritizing [physical presence] as much is nice,” said Cox.

This is the 11th year of Kinsey’s partnership with Match with the study “Singles in America” where they ask 5,000 singles about their attitudes and behaviors on being single.  This cross-sectional study showed an overall increase in the value of emotional attachment and a decrease in the importance of sex.

“Sex has taken on a little bit of a different meaning,” said Kinsey Institute Executive Director Justin Garcia, “What we’re seeing in a lot of the data now is that people are going on more dates before they want to have sex with someone, they want to video chat for longer before they meet in person.  It’s a pattern of caution.”

 

The data also revealed that 65 percent of singles want their partner to be vaccinated.  This takes precedent over other traditional dealbreakers such as religion and political affiliation.  Garcia says that the vaccine however, is a proxy for these traditional dealbreakers – reflecting peoples views on the healthcare industry, political views and on psychological traits such as empathy.  Garcia believes that the emphasis on vaccination status has put health on the forefront of dating.

“It’s opened up the doors for people to talk more about health and well-being in the dating context… I think it’s a new era in the role of our personal health in our dating lives,” said Garcia.

Kathleen and her boyfriend’s conversations consist of topics such as vaccination as they just hit their third month of dating.  However, this issue is bigger for them because Kathleen is vaccinated – her boyfriend is not.

Cox says that her boyfriend is not vaccinated not because he lacks empathy or because of his political affiliation, but because of health concerns.  However, she does understand where people may get this picture of those who are anti-vaxx.

“While it’s true that some people who are anti-vaxxers are total jerks who don’t care about the science and don’t care what you say to them, I mean, that’s true of potentially people in any group and unfortunately, like it is in most situations, those people are the loudest,” said Cox.

 

Match plans to continue this study in 2022 for its 12th consecutive year to see what the longterm effects of the pandemic have on those ready to mingle.  You can find more information about the study itself here.